Saturday, April 5, 2014

real talk

So, I hadn't really planned on making this post, but something happened yesterday that made me think about it more than I usually do. I'll spare you all from the details, but basically I have to get a tooth removed, wear a retainer with a fake tooth for about three months, and then get an implant (stupid baby tooth with no replacement). And since I'm moving at the end of July, I'm faced with the option of getting it done here in my college town, or doing it at home. 
And my first reaction was that of course I'm going to do it at home, because doing it here just sounds scary. I mean, my parents aren't here and how could I do this alone? And then I started thinking that was silly, because I'm 21 years old and technically an adult. I should be able to just do this. Major confliction between what I felt and what I thought I should be feeling.

(Apparently I thought it would be funny to have a picture of all the cereal I bought for my first week of college classes? And oh boy, the lanyard trend of freshman year.)

I think that when we're 18 years old and headed off to college, we think that this is it. This is when we get to start feeling like real adults! We're finally on our own and we get to be grownups! And then you get there....and you don't feel like an adult at all. Sure, there are the moments. Where you make big life choices, like getting an internship or actually get a professor that treats you as though you are a competent adult. But really...reality doesn't meet expectations. I'm now a senior about to graduate, and I still rarely feel like an adult! 
Thankfully, it does seem like I'm not alone in this. A lot of my friends are going through the same thing, and I've seen other bloggers post about not feeling completely adult. I don't necessarily think that it's a bad thing, as we have plenty of time to grow up even more, and feel like our adult selves. But on the other hand, I would like to feel like I could go through a minor oral surgery on my own! 
It's probably something I'll struggle with for the next couple years, stuck in a place between being a dependent and being an adult. But it actually felt kind of good to put my thoughts down in written form, and share them with other people. Maybe I'll realize that more people feel this way than I realize.


1 comment :

  1. Exceptional post! Just remember, though, you can always have your Mom and Dad around, and still be an adult (which you are!)!


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